Elfin, Book 1 The Elfin Series Read online

  Chapter 15

  Darkness is all around me. I’m at the bottom of a pit and no matter how hard I try to climb up the walls I cannot get to the top. My nails bleed from the clawing and my face and body are covered in dirt. I writhe in pain and misery and I cry out for more; more of the red liquid that brings me happiness, fleeting though it may be. My body hums in remembrance of the warm liquid sliding silkily down my throat. I dance and those around me sing and laugh. Some whistle and call out my name and I dance faster. Then the feeling is gone and I’m sinking into the pit again and I cry out for more; more pleasure, more warmth, more feeling, more anything but the emptiness I feel when the high is gone. ~ Cassandra Tate

  “Cassandra,” a female voice pushes through the haze that fills Cassie’s mind. She tries to sit up but her body won’t cooperate. Her breathing is labored and pain courses through her veins.

  “More,” her voice is hoarse from the hours of screaming.

  “I know you want more, but first we must get you ready,” the female voice tells her as she helps her stand. It’s painful. Her legs are weak and don’t want to support her body, but she is thinner now and so she is able to force them.

  “Ready?” She asks wearily.

  “You must dance tonight. Dance for a suitor. King Lorsan is growing tired of the endless requests for you and so he is going to give you to a male tonight.”

  Cassie frowned, or at least she thought it was a frown. Give her to a male. What did that mean? So she asked.

  “It means you are going to be Bound in Union,” the woman answered.

  “Bound?” Cassie whispered.

  “Yes, but you must try to stop saying his name at night. You call it out endlessly and I imagine your mate will not take kindly to his woman calling the name of another.”

  Cassie’s breath caught in her throat and she felt jolts of pain sear through her. She yelped in pain and fell to the floor. Whose name? Who did she cry out for in the darkness of night, in the dreams that swirled in her mind as she slept? She could see his face but his identity eluded her. She reached for him in her dreams and no matter how fast she ran she could not catch him. When she got close to him she would hear the words that repeatedly ripped out her heart.

  “I don’t want you,” his deep, smooth voice carried to her ears.

  “Please,” she would whisper as she fell to the ground. “I love you.”

  Always he would shake his head, his beautiful black hair so dark that it appeared to have a purple tint and pity would fill his silver eyes. “I don’t love you.” His red, full lips moved and yet the words that came out were words that she never wanted to hear.

  “Who is he?” she asked the woman. She could never remember her name, but she came every day and helped bathe her and dress her.

  “You don’t need to worry about that; it’s best if you simply forget him.” She held out a glass to her and Cassie’s eyes glazed over. She grabbed for the glass greedily and guzzled the liquid down. The warmth hit her mouth and trailed down her throat and she moaned. She knelt there as the full effects of Rapture coursed through her body and when she was numb and consumed in the glorious high she stood, her movements like a languid cat.

  “That’s more like it,” the woman crooned. “Now off to the bath with you.” She ushered Cassie through a door that led into a lavish bathroom. A tub was filled with steaming hot water and Cassie could smell the perfume that had been poured into the bath. She stripped off her nightgown and climbed slowly into the tub and let out a soft sigh as the hot water surrounded her. Her skin tingled everywhere that it touched and she giggled at the sensation.

  The woman clucked her tongue at her. “You really are much too young to be married off.” She hurried around the bathroom, setting out clothes and a towel. She placed a brush on the counter and various lotions and oils, all of which were designed to make Cassie’s skin softer and shiny and her hair silky. She had to admit that she enjoyed being pampered. She didn’t think that it had always been this way. She couldn’t help but think that in another life she had not had all the luxury that she had now. But as Rapture continued to haze her brain with pleasure, she pushed the thoughts away and focused on the sensations and the here and now.

  The woman had been talking but Cassie hadn’t been listening to a word she was saying. She looked over at her and saw that she was very young, though her demeanor seemed so much older, more like a mother hen than the young chick she appeared to be.

  “What is your name?” Cassie asked.

  “Tsk, tsk,” the woman frowned. “You ask me that every day and I tell you every day. Why don’t you just make one up and try to remember it?”

  Cassie smiled. She liked this woman with her spunky attitude and sparkling eyes.

  “Okay then, I will call you Flora,” she told her with a decisive nod.

  “Why Flora?”

  “Because she’s a fairy godmother, and you remind me of one, always flitting about and taking care of me.”

  Flora smiled. “Well that’s nice. It’s better than calling me a mother hen so I will go with it.”

  Cassie smiled and it was a dreamy look. Flora looked at her and Cassie saw the sympathy that filled them. Why did Flora feel that way towards her? It’s not like her life was hard. She just slept, ate, drank her wonderful red drink and danced. What was so bad about that? But there at the back of her mind, something lay just out of her reach, something important discarded and forgotten.

  “Why do you look at me that way?” Cassie finally asked.

  Flora quickly pushed her features back into a motherly smile. “You just seem tired and I wish that Lorsan would give you more time to rest.”

  Cassie didn’t feel tired, well at least not then. She knew that eventually the red liquid would wear off and she would crash. She didn’t like the crash and she pushed the memory of it away as quickly as it had come.

  “I’m fine, Flora,” Cassie assured her. “Really, I like to dance.”

  Flora shook her head. “You shouldn’t be dancing for those elves with their greedy stares and goofy grins.”

  Cassie stood up in the tub and the water cascaded off her body. She glistened from the oils that had been added to the water. She smiled as she spoke. “They can’t help it; they are enamored with my beauty.”

  Flora smiled as she helped Cassie from the tub, but Cassie could see the hesitation in the smile.

  She dressed in silence and Flora hummed as she fixed her hair. When she was finally ready she stood in front of the full-length mirror and, as she did every time that she looked at herself, she wondered who the girl in the mirror was. She didn’t think that she had always looked this way. Her clothes were more revealing than she thought she would ever choose for herself. Her makeup was heavy and accentuated her eyes and lips. Her hair was done in elaborate twists with tendrils hanging down to frame her face. There was no doubt that she was beautiful, but her eyes were empty and so she avoided looking at them. She turned to follow Flora out of the room and she staggered against the doorframe. She squeezed her eyes shut against the first onslaught of the crash. She heard Flora muttering under her breath about needing more and more and something not lasting. She couldn’t understand what the woman was saying because of the sound of her own blood pumping in her ears. Her heartbeat was fast and hard in her chest and her palms grew sweaty. She drew in a ragged breath as she moaned. “More Flora, I need more.”

  “I know child, I’m moving as quickly as I can.”

  She heard the splash of liquid into a cup and groped blindly for it. The cup was pushed into her hands and she guzzled the liquid as a thirsty man parched from the desert would guzzle water. No, she thought. Not a thirsty man for water, a desperate one for his next fix, a user for the next high that he lives for. That’s what she had become and as the warmth brought on by Rapture flooded her system she pushed the thought far from her mind because she didn’t care. She felt good again, she felt invisible and it was time for her to dance, and dance she wo
uld.