Elfin, Book 1 The Elfin Series Page 33
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Trik stood in the field overlooking the crops that would become Rapture. At one time he would have stared out over this land and felt a sense of accomplishment. Now, now he just felt sick. Cassie had looked at him as if he had handed her the moon when he told her he would walk away from Lorsan and, though he meant it, he knew that they weren’t talking about the same time frame. He hadn’t bothered to clarify. He couldn’t stand being in the room with her one minute more, couldn’t stand seeing her adoration when he didn’t deserve it. Something inside him pushed at him to go back and tell her the truth, but he couldn’t. Lorsan would destroy everything Trik cared about if he walked away. Since the only thing he cared about was Cassie, then she would bear the entirety of Lorsan’s wrath.
“The first plants will be ready to harvest by tomorrow,” Alok said as he walked up to stand next to Trik.
“Is the lab ready for them?” Lorsan had his most trusted potions masters working on getting the plant into a liquid form. They had converted one of the large buildings on the land into a lab and it was there that the drug would be manufactured.
“It will be finished tonight,” Alok answered.
Trik nodded at him but said nothing more. He didn’t want to speak with anyone in his race. He didn’t want to look into their eyes for fear that they would see that something in him had changed. Something in him had suddenly burst forth to life like a new born babe taking its first breath. Cassie. Cassie’s soul, so pure, so caring had connected with his and now his dark soul would never be the same.
The other elven voices surrounding him began to intrude on his thoughts, annoyingly loud, interrupting his self-loathing. He needed to think. He needed to be alone. That wasn’t the truth, though. He needed to be with Cassie. His soul was beginning to ache at the distance he had put between them and he knew that he would need to return to her soon because she would begin to feel the pain of their forced separation; forced by him.
He turned and walked toward the large building that had become the lab. He walked around to the back side where there were several glass windows. With the pain becoming more and more noticeable, he stepped quickly through the window and emerged in a small cabin. He stepped out of the cabin into the lush land of his people. The trees were tall, older than even he. Canopies of bright green vines lovingly draped the trees. The ground was clothed in soft, thick, green grass with moss covered rocks scattered here and there. All around, foliage and flowers shot forth, reaching for the light that helped them grow.
He took a familiar path that led to a river, which ran through the Elfin realm. A waterfall towered over the river and the rush of the crashing water pulled Trik closer. He stood on the edge of the river and looked down at his reflection. He didn’t recognize the man who stood before him. His usual cocky smirk gone, replaced by worry, fear, and pain, three things he was not familiar with and didn’t know how to handle. He knelt down and looked into the eyes of his reflection, searching for the good that Cassie saw in him, but he saw nothing there. Trik knew each and every life that he had taken over the past thousand years. He had spilled enough blood to fill the river before him and all the rivers of the earth. She was so young, so innocent. She couldn’t possibly understand the depth of Trik’s sedition. Because she didn’t understand it was his job to protect her. He had to do this his way, and if she found out he would have to convince her that it was because he loved her.
Trik’s head fell forward and he felt his soul screaming for its mate. Did he love her? He knew that he cared deeply for her, he knew he couldn’t lose her, and that he would be nothing without her. Is that love? Whatever it was, Cassie was his, his Chosen and he had waited too long to give her up now.
It was for those reasons that he had to bide his time with Lorsan. He prayed to the Forest Lords that Cassie would understand.