The Warlock Queen: Book 13 of the Grey Wolves Series Page 17

  Myanin bowed her head just a hair, acquiescing to her assessment, as she was right.

  “What has changed about you?” Lilly asked. She wasn’t just curious, Myanin noted. The queen was truly interested. She wanted to know what would cause a woman who’d killed one of her own to admit she was now different.

  “I’m aware and able to accept that what I did was wrong,” she said. She glanced at Tenia, who nodded in encouragement. Myanin looked back at Lilly and continued. “And at first, I felt nothing. I just wanted to make Thadrick and his female pay for what they’d done. I didn’t consider that their actions resulted from my own.”

  “Whoa,” Lilly said, holding up her hands. “You’re going to have to back up. You wanted to make Thadrick and who pay?”

  That’s right, Myanin realized. The queen only knew that Myanin had killed an elder. She didn’t know the rest. So, she’d have to start at the beginning. “This might take a while,” she warned.

  “Like I said,” Lilly leaned back on the couch, “you have until tomorrow. By then you will have either had to skedaddle or face down Perizada.”

  Myanin nodded. “Right. As I said, I’ve known Thadrick a very long time. He was my best friend and mentor. As I aged, he came to mean more to me.” Her mind wandered back to those memories she still held dear to her heart. She continued her story, telling the queen every detail. She didn’t leave out how she’d found out about Thadrick’s lover and how it had destroyed her. Or how she’d lied to Jezebel because she’d been so blind with hurt. For years, she hadn’t even felt any guilt over it because in her mind, Thad had belonged to her. “Supernaturals tend to be a bit possessive,” she said with a sad smile.

  “Believe me, I am aware,” Lilly said softly, her eyes holding less condemnation and more understanding.

  “It wasn’t until I got to the Order and saw what they were doing that I began to doubt myself … doubt my choices.” Myanin felt sick to her stomach as she thought about the evil she’d seen in the prisoner’s eyes, the one who’d compared her to him. Not that he’d been wrong.

  “Anger and pain can blind us to right and wrong,” Tenia said.

  “Yes,” Myanin agreed. “Being with the Order made that clearer. But also I’ve been shown much by the Great Luna.”

  “Do you regret it?” Lilly asked.

  Myanin closed her eyes as she pictured Thadrick. She remembered all of their times together, how he’d always been there for her. She remembered the day Jezebel had showed up looking for Thadrick and how much hate Myanin harbored in her heart. How had she let herself fall so far? She had to make herself swallow so she wouldn’t start crying.

  “Yes,” she said, her voice shaking. “If I could go back, if I could fix it all…” She opened her eyes and met the warlock queen’s. “I would in a heartbeat, but at the time, every time I pictured them together, the rage would grow. Seeing the only male I’ve ever loved holding someone else was—”

  “A bitch,” Lilly finished for her.

  A tear ran down Myanin’s cheek. “It was.”

  Lilly sighed. “Why did you come here to tell me this, Myanin?”

  “Because I’ve seen your past,” she admitted. “If anyone can understand, it’s you.”

  Lilly snorted a laugh, though it was humorless. “Oh, I do understand. You’re certainly right about that.”

  “You also killed someone because of jealousy?” Tenia asked Lilly, her eyes wide.

  Lilly coughed and shook her head vehemently. “Um, no. But I loved a man who would never be able to love me, not the way I needed him to, and he had to leave me for another woman.” Lilly stared at Myanin, the djinn who’d just poured out every ugly detail of what she’d done. She’d also said she regretted her actions, and Lilly believed her. If she didn’t regret her actions, she wouldn’t be sitting here opening herself up to a total stranger, hoping for her to understand. “I take it the Order doesn’t know you’re paying me a visit?”

  “No,” Myanin said. “I do not wish to put you in danger. But I’m conflicted. They have Tenia’s young, which I am not okay with. Children should never be hurt for any reason. Also, I do not agree that the humans should be enslaved, even though I think them dim-witted and unoriginal. I’ll admit to feeling slightly superior to them … in every way possible. But I’m working on that.” She paused. “Sort of. I mean, I’m working through my past prejudice.”

  “Slightly superior?” Lilly challenged. “Past prejudices?”

  Myanin rolled her eyes. “All of their buildings are square, and they have no security in their territories whatsoever. They don’t stand a chance against the likes of the Order. And they walk around so clueless.”

  “Humans don’t know there is a supernatural threat,” Lilly said. “They’re prepared for war from their own kind, even if you cannot see their warriors.” Myanin didn’t look convinced. “You still haven’t told me what you want, Myanin. In fact, I’m not exactly sure what I can do for you.”

  “I think we can help each other.” She motioned to the fae. “Tenia and I are supposed to be spying on the wolves. We must report back to Alston and Ludcarab. Obviously, we’re going to give them false information. But we can be actual spies for you against the Order if you’d like. And I can personally help you.”

  Lilly’s lips pursed. “Help me how?”

  “You need to regain your strength. Your warriors need to be prepared for battle. I saw the death of your king. I’ve seen what it’s doing to your people. They must be united, Lilly, and the only way to do that is to show them you are strong and have a plan. I have been a warrior for a very long time. I can get you and your warriors into fighting shape.”

  “I have a general who is more than capable,” Lilly challenged.

  “He’s not a djinn,” Myanin said. She didn’t sound superior this time, just stating a fact.

  “Only the fae rival the djinn in fighting ability,” Tenia added. “They’re old and powerful, so powerful that the Great Luna does not permit them to use all of their power. Myanin can offer much wisdom to help your people, and you, ready themselves.”

  Lilly stood as she considered Myanin’s offer. “What do you want?”

  “Absolution, if that’s possible,” Myanin whispered. “To make some sort of amends for what I’ve done. Maybe by doing this, I will show my people that I haven’t lost all of my honor.”

  “They won’t spare you, Myanin,” Lilly said, knowing the truth might be unwelcome. “Thadrick and the elders, they think you’re in complete league with the Order. It’s the last thing he saw before you jacked with his abilities.”

  Myanin bowed her head. “I know, but maybe I can die with honor. There are worse fates.”

  “I believe you’re remorseful for what you’ve done,” Lilly said. She walked over to the djinn and knelt down. The warrior before her might be much older than her, but she suddenly looked very young. Lilly tilted the woman’s chin so that Myanin looked her in the face. “You said the Great Luna spoke to you.”

  Myanin nodded.

  “She knows your heart, better than even you do,” Lilly said. “She’s seen all your broken pieces, and yet you know she loves you still.”

  “I do.”

  Lilly pressed her palm to the woman’s cheek. “Then she has forgiven you, and that is all you should need.”

  “I still have to stand before my people and the consequences,” Myanin said. “I feel I could face them better with no more blood on my hands.”

  “We all have blood on our hands, Myanin, whether we’ve taken a life or not,” Lilly said. “None of us is truly innocent. But what we do after our transgressions, how we continue to live our lives as we screw up and have to confess all over, that’s what shows our true character. ”

  “The Great Luna spoke to me about my future,” Myanin said.

  Lilly rocked back on her heels and let her hand fall. “I bet that was interesting. What did the goddess have to say?”

  “She said I was not yet lost. And she as
ked me if I had considered whether she had somebody better for me.” The djinn looked confused.

  “You don’t think there could be someone better for you than Thadrick?” Lilly asked.

  “Did you think there could be someone better for you than Dillon?” Lilly didn’t miss the hope in Myanin’s question.

  “At the time, no.” She shook her head. “And I didn’t date anyone after. I raised my daughter, a result of mine and Dillon’s relationship—the best result,” she added, “and I lived my life. I had accepted that I would never love someone the way I loved him.” She paused, and then a small smile tilted her lips up. “I was wrong.”

  “The warlock king is your soul mate,” Tenia said.

  Lilly’s heart twisted. “He is.” She didn’t say “was.” because though he was gone, he would always be her soul mate.

  “Djinn rarely find a soul mate,” Myanin said. “And after all these centuries, wouldn’t I have already met him?”

  “It seems like things are changing. True mates are no longer confined to the same race. Maybe your mate isn’t a djinn.”

  Myanin’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. She looked at Lilly as if she’d just said the Order was the best thing that had happened since the invention of cotton candy.

  “She seems to have a hard time with change,” Tenia said as she looked from Myanin to Lilly.

  “Yeah, she’s going to have to get over that.” Lilly stood and walked over to the couch. She sat back down and looked at the two women. Tenia was simply staring back at her, but Myanin still looked as if she’d been hit by a truth bomb.

  “How do I know this isn’t a ploy to get information to feed to the Order?” Lilly asked, though she really didn’t believe it was. There was too much grief and at the same time hope in Myanin. And Tenia, when she’d spoken of her child, had looked ready to crumble.

  “I will make a blood oath with you,” Myanin replied. She appeared to be getting over her shock.

  “From what I’ve learned over the years, blood oaths are a tad serious and usually dangerous,” Lilly said. She leaned forward and rested her arms on her knees.

  “They are,” Myanin agreed. “But the oath will keep me from deceiving you. If I make a blood oath with you and break it, I will die.”

  “Okay, wow. That escalated quickly,” Lilly muttered.

  “I know I can’t undo what I’ve already done,” Myanin continued. “The Great Luna has forgiven me, and I’ve made things right with the elder I killed. But I don’t want to die with my memory tied to the Order. I want to help destroy them. I want Tenia to get her young back. I can’t change the past, but I can help now. I can make a sacrifice for my sins.”

  Lilly stared at the djinn warrior across from her, who sat with her shoulders pulled back and her chin raised. Her eyes spoke of pain and regret, but her posture said she was ready to take responsibility for her actions. Lilly thought about her mate and how he’d worked with Desdemona because he’d been so desperate for a mate. Lilly considered all the things she’d done in her life because of pain and anger. Maybe she hadn’t killed anyone, but in her lifetime, she’d lied, she’d hated, she’d even wished pain upon another. Who could claim they were truly innocent of any wrongdoing? Were those things as bad as murder? Maybe. Maybe not. But it was not her place to judge Myanin’s heart. That was the Great Luna’s job. Lilly’s job was to protect her people.

  “I’ll do the blood oath,” Lilly finally said. “I have conditions.”

  Myanin nodded. “A wise queen should.”

  “I won’t keep this a secret from Perizada,” Lilly said as she glanced at Tenia. The fae nodded as her eyes filled with the sheen of tears.

  “I’ve brought shame to my people,” Tenia said, wiping her eyes.

  “I don’t think she will see it that way,” Lilly said. “I’ll explain the situation to her after you’ve gone.” She turned to Myanin “If she showed up now, I can’t guarantee she wouldn’t try to kill you straight away. So how do I get in touch with you after I’ve calmed her down?”

  “I have a cell phone,” Myanin said, sounding proud of herself. “You can get in touch with me that way.”

  Lilly blew out a quick breath and prayed she wasn’t making a huge mistake. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  Myanin pulled a short blade from her boot. She spoke in a language Lilly didn’t recognize. The blade glowed a bright blue.

  “I said, ‘with my blood, I promise all of my intentions are for the benefit of Queen Lilly and those she aides. If, at any point, I betray her or her comrades, my life will be forfeit. I will die without honor and be sent to the next life without the blessing of my people.’” Myanin then ran the blade across her palm. She looked at Lilly and held the blade out to her. “Do you accept the terms of my oath?”

  Lilly took the blade. Her mind ran through all the potential outcomes, one of which meant a horrible end to Myanin. “What if you’re forced by the Order to betray us? What if they find out you’re helping us?” Could Lilly really condemn the djinn that way?

  “This is my choice, Lilly,” Myanin said, looking into her eyes. “You will hold no responsibility for what happens to me. The only way for me to make sure you know my intentions are pure is to do this. I am willing to take the risk.”

  Reminding herself that Myanin was a grown woman and could make her own decisions, Lilly ran the blade across her palm. The sting was instant. For some reason, it made Lilly feel alive for the first time in weeks. She took a deep breath as she looked across at Myanin. The desperation in the warriors eyes cried out to a part of Lilly’s soul that understood Myanin’s pain more than the djinn could possibly know. The need to prove yourself worthy. The need to show that you can do what you need to do, but that it would be nice to have one or two people on your side, a constant wish at the back of your mind. Maybe the emotions made her reckless or maybe they just made her do exactly what she knew she needed to do in order to let Myanin know she had one more person willing to believe in her.

  Myanin held out her hand to Lilly, and she clasped it in her own. “With my blood, I promise all of my intentions are for the benefit of Myanin and those she aides. If, at any point, I betray her or her comrades,” Lilly glanced at Tenia, whose eyes looked ready to fall out of her head, letting her see the truth in her eyes, “my life will be forfeit. I will die without honor and be sent to the next life without the blessing of my people.” Their blood mingled, and suddenly there was a light so bright Lilly had to squint to keep from being blinded.

  “This blood oath is one that I will bless and hold you both to.” The Great Luna’s voice filled the room. “Lilly, you have loved your mate with your whole heart. You have ached, and I have ached with you. I know your loss, and I have not forsaken you. You have much to do in this life. I have given you a purpose. And I will give you the tools you need to fulfill your task. It is up to you to move.

  “Myanin, I promised you were not lost to me. There are consequences for your wrongs, but there is redemption in my love. Stay on the path I have set before you. Set one foot in front of the other and do not look right or left. Keep your eyes straight ahead, and I will not let your foot slip.

  “Tenia, precious mother, you have a gift you have never abused. You have borne your burden with humility and honor.”

  Lilly looked at the fae who was shaking her head as tears poured down her cheeks. She would have wrapped her arms around her if she wasn’t currently grasping arms with Myanin.

  “I have taken the will of others,” the fae said, her voice breaking as the tears overwhelmed her.

  The Great Luna’s power seemed to increase, the warmth of it filling every cold place inside Lilly. “Children are precious. They are innocent and should be protected. You have done what was needed to keep your child safe. He has not been alone. I have been with him. I have heard your cries to me and protected him. You will face much, but the child I have given you will return to you unscathed. Continue to fight the good fight. Do not lose hope. Do
not give into the darkness that so easily entangles. Stand strong and know that I am with you always.”

  As the light faded, Lilly released Myanin’s hand. The wound was completely healed, and the blood was gone. In its place, there was a pale crescent moon on her palm. She glanced over to Myanin’s hand and saw the djinn had the same mark on her palm.

  “The Great Luna has sealed the oath,” Tenia said.

  Lilly’s body trembled as her eyes met Myanin’s. The djinn looked just as shaken as Lilly felt. Tenia wiped away the tears that had been streaming down her face, composing herself. Lilly could see the relief in the fae’s eyes. Her son was going to be okay, even being in the clutches of the Order. The Great Luna had said she’d protect the boy, and she didn’t lie.

  “That was unexpected,” Myanin said before clearing her throat. “And you weren’t supposed to add that second part. The blood oath wasn’t meant because your loyalty was in question,” she chastised.

  “Well, now you know for sure that I see your life as worth protecting,” Lilly said with a small smile. “I will fight just as hard for you, Myanin, as you say you will fight for me.” She closed her palm, squeezing it tightly as she tried to figure out how she was going to explain all of this to Peri without the high fae flipping her lid.

  Myanin and Tenia both stood, and Lilly joined them.

  “Thank you, Queen Lilly.” Myanin bowed not only her head but completely from her waist. “I realize that I’ve added to your burden, but I hope I will prove to be an asset to you.”

  “I don’t think you have a choice at this point,” Lilly said. “It’s pretty much fish or cut bait for you. And for me as well.”

  Myanin frowned. “I do not know this saying.”

  Lilly smiled. “I’m from Texas. We have many sayings outsiders don’t understand. What I mean is, you’ve made your choice—we all have—and now we have to follow through. If we don’t, the price we will pay is too great.”

  “The price will be my life no matter what,” Myanin said. “But I would rather die making amends than fighting alongside the evil that is Alston, Ludcarab, and the newly crowned vampire king, Cain.”