A Grey Wolves Howliday Page 12

  Zara’s eyes were on the floor. She chewed on her bottom lip and clasped her hands tightly in front of her. But her shoulders weren’t slumped, and that gave Wadim hope that he hadn’t completely crushed her. If he had, Wadim was pretty sure his wolf would have forced his phase and ran until neither of them could stand as a punishment “I may yet.” The beast rumbled.

  Wadim simply stared. After several moments passed, Zara broke the silence. “You said we needed to talk.” It had only been a couple hours since he’d seen her, but he’d missed her.

  He walked toward her and watched as her shoulders tensed. When he stood directly in front of her, his breath brushed against her hair, and her scent filled his lungs, Wadim reached for her but paused. “I need to hold you.” His voice was almost gravelly. “May I?”

  Zara’s eyes lifted to his, her brow drawn down deep. “Why would you ask? You’re my mate. You never have to ask.”

  His heart pounded painfully in his chest. He hadn’t felt like he had the right to touch her, not after how he’d made her feel. She must have heard those thoughts through their bond.

  Zara grabbed his hands and pulled him until his arms were wrapped around her. She placed her hands on his chest and ran them up to his shoulders, then around his neck. “You always have the right to touch me, unless I tell you otherwise. In fact, not touching me is the issue. I need you to trust me. Trust my judgment for what I am or am not ready for.”

  Wadim heard her words and felt the passion in them. He focused on how she felt in his arms. The last week had been tense. There’d been little touching and all of it entirely too fleeting. He pulled her tighter against him and buried his face in her neck. “I’m sorry,” he said through their bond. The words were stuck in his throat, along with all of his emotions. “I’m scared.” Wadim opened the bond on his end completely so she could see everything he’d kept from her. The breath fled her lungs, and her hands tightened on his neck.

  “You would never hurt me or scare me, Wadim.” The words were spoken with conviction. “The only thing that could hurt me is your rejection.”

  “I wasn’t rejecting you.” He finally managed to make his voice work. Though he hated to pull back, he needed to look at her eyes. Zara tilted her head back so she could look up at him. “I would never. I was protecting you.”

  She shook her head. “Sometimes you won’t know whether protection is what I really need. I know what I’ve been through, mate.” Her mouth tightened briefly. “I will continue to work through that, but I also know that I’m ready to replace those memories with beautiful ones. With you.”

  “I want to give you that.” He couldn’t hide the desire in his voice. “Did it ever occur to you I wanted to kiss all the scars on your beautiful body? That I needed to show you that you are perfect to me in every way?” Wadim wanted to take the words back because he’d just made it about himself, despite the fact that he had already told himself not to do that.

  “And do you really think I didn’t already know that?” Zara challenged, her eyes narrowing on him. “Wadim, I’ve seen myself through your eyes. I realize my insecurity made me jump to the conclusion that you were disgusted with me, but I know better. You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you. My own past did that.

  “Even though he’s gone, I’ve still had to see what he’s left me with every time I look in the mirror. But now…” Her voice filled with wonder and her eyes lit up as she smiled. “Yes, I still have memories. That will take more time to deal with, but knowing my body is not marked by him any longer is more than I ever hoped for.” Zara tugged the ends of his hair as if she were trying to make sure she had his undivided attention. “And I can already tell you will feel guilty because you find my body attractive without the scars, as if that will make me think you weren’t attracted to me before.” She pursed her lips at him. “But I know that’s a lie. You can be attracted to me both ways. One feeling doesn’t diminish the other. I would be attracted to you whether you had a smoking hot body or not. I would still desire you even if you were pudgy and bald.”

  Wadim chuckled. He hadn’t thought of it that way, and she was right. He had already begun to feel guilty over the fact that he was going to find her scar-less body attractive, even though he’d been attracted to her before. Wadim sobered as he stared deeply into her eyes and pushed through their bond for her to open it all the way for him. “Are you sure?” He felt her walls drop and finally let him in. It seemed as if he could breathe for the first time in a week. Having any distance between them was hard, but with the bond shut down, it was excruciating.

  She met his gaze with a steady one of her own, and her voice didn’t waver. “More sure than I’ve ever been of anything.”

  Wadim released Zara and then cupped her precious face in his hands. He leaned down until their lips were barely touching. “You humble me, my beautiful mate,” he whispered. “I am going to get it wrong many, many more times, but I promise you I will spend the rest of my existence loving you, protecting you, providing for you, and most likely driving you a little crazy.”

  Zara’s lips turned up slightly. “Crazy is better than bored to tears or scared out of my mind.”

  He closed the distance between them and felt her raise up to press her lips firmly against his. Zara wasn’t overly affectionate, but when she was the more aggressive one, he loved it. It meant she felt confident with him, that she knew he would respond to her.

  She opened her mouth at his mental prodding, and her taste invaded him. She was exquisite. Like the finest wine, he sipped her, wanting to savor the taste as long as possible. But then he felt her hands tugging at the hem of his shirt. His need to go slow evaporated.

  Wadim let her pull his shirt up and over his head, then he swung her up in his arms and carried her to their room. He sat on the bed, keeping her in his lap, one of his hands running up her thigh, the other up and down her spine. There was way too much material between them, but he forced himself to let her set the pace.

  He continued to kiss her, almost frantically, until she finally pulled back. When he moved forward, prepared to chase her delicious mouth, she pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him. “Tell me what to do,” she whispered.

  Wadim’s brain froze momentarily. He shook the lust from his mind. When his mind started working again, he tried to figure out what she meant. He knew she knew what sex was because of… Wadim shut his mind down. All that line of thinking would do was piss him off. He wouldn’t allow any memories of her past to soil her first time. She sent an image through the bond. It was of her biting him. And he realized what she was asking. “Your body will know what to do,” he assured her with a cheeky smile. “Kind of like how it will know what to do once I’ve got you undressed.” His eyebrows rose and lowered suggestively.

  He guided her head to his neck. Though he couldn’t see them, he sensed the glowing eyes of her wolf coming forward. Zara was still under the spell Rachel had put on her to keep her from shifting, but Wadim had faith that the Great Luna would make sure his mate could complete the bond, despite that issue.

  When her hot breath caressed his skin, he bit back a growl. But when her tongue darted out and licked his flesh, there was no silencing his groan. Wadim felt her teeth on his neck, her bite tentative, but then she bit harder, and her fangs pierced his flesh easily. The pain lasted a second before it was replaced by the pleasure only the mating bond could produce. His hand tightened on the back of her head, pressing her against him as his need grew with every pull from her mouth. He heard her hum of approval as she swallowed. Wadim felt her love and desire through their mating bond, which was growing stronger now that they’d both exchanged blood.

  He didn’t want her to stop, but he knew it was enough. “Zara,” he breathed into her mind. “Let me love you.”

  She hesitantly released him and licked at the wound on his neck. It would heal in a matter of minutes. Wadim found himself wishing it would stay, as his mark would stay on her. He liked the idea of her mark on his f
lesh. He also liked the idea of her smelling like him, which she would after tonight. His scent would seep from her pores, letting any wolf near her know she belonged to him.

  When she sat back enough that he could look in her eyes, Wadim saw no fear, only love, desire, and longing. He wrapped his hands around her waist and picked her up so she stood in front of him. Keeping his eyes on hers, he began to pull the hem of her shirt up. If there was even a moment of hesitation in her eyes, he wanted to know immediately. But she simply stared back at him in adoration. Slowly, Wadim undressed his mate. It was the most precious gift he’d ever unwrapped. His lips ghosted over her skin when she pulled his head toward her. He obviously wasn’t moving fast enough. “We have all night, beautiful,” he teased. “And then eternity after that.”

  “It won’t ever be long enough.” Her voice was husky even in his mind. He couldn’t disagree. As his fingers traced her skin, his eyes following their path, he knew he would never get enough of her.

  “You’re breathtaking.” Wadim’s voice was deep with the need to join with her. “No matter what you look like, you will always take my breath away.”

  By the time they were both undressed, Wadim was finding it very difficult to make himself slow down. When he covered her smaller body with his own and their flesh touched from ankles to chests, he could barely catch his breath. Nothing had ever felt better. Nothing, that is, until their bodies joined. Their bond grew stronger as he made love to his mate for the first time. Her hands roamed his body, marking him with nails, but also with fingerprints that no one would see, though he would remember the feel of her hands for all of his life. “Mine,” he told her. “My mate, my love, my forever.”

  Zara heard Wadim’s voice in her mind and tried to focus, but her senses were on overload. Never in a million years had she known being loved could be like this. She’d never understood that a man’s touch could make her feel as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

  “You are.” Wadim looked down at her. He pressed his lips to her cheek, her jaw, then her lips as their bodies moved. “There is nothing more important, save our Creator, than you.” His eyes were glowing with his wolf, and she could feel her own wolf rising to meet their mate. A moment later, Zara’s eyes widened as she sensed the bonds fall away that had held her wolf in check. But instead of feeling out of control, she was in sync with her inner beast. The mate bond was complete, and her wolf was safe, protected, and loved.

  “I love you,” Wadim said. His emotions poured freely into her mind, filling her heart until it overflowed.

  She stared up into the eyes of her mate, her skin tingling from his attention. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she panted from pleasure. “I love you more.”

  Wadim leaned down and nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth. “Not possible,” he growled, though his voice was filled with heat, not anger. She’d agree to disagree, for now.

  Her mate spent the rest of the night showing her what it meant to love selflessly. He put her needs above his own, and she felt treasured. It was much later, as she lay sated and exhausted, draped across his body, that she wondered why any mated pair ever left their beds. Her head bounced on his stomach as he laughed, having heard her thoughts.

  “Don’t you think you’ll get hungry at some point?” Wadim ran his fingers through her hair.

  “Food is overrated,” she whispered. Even her lips were too tired to move.

  Wadim’s chest rumbled, and she felt his approval at her words. “If I had to choose between food and you,” he said, “you would win, hands down, every time.”

  “We could just put a fridge right next to the bed,” Zara offered, only half joking because she never wanted to peel herself away from him.

  “And what about bathroom breaks?” he asked, tugging playfully at her long locks.

  “I guess it wouldn’t be very sexy if we peed in the bed.”

  Wadim laughed, his deep, delicious voice filling the room. As his laughter died down and his fingers continued to run through her hair and trace her skin, Zara drifted into a peaceful slumber. The scent of her mate surrounded her, and her wolf was content for the first time since she’d even known she had an inner wolf. “Safe,” the wolf said into her mind.

  “Yes,” Zara replied. “With him, we will always be safe.”

  Chapter 8

  “On the eighth day of Christmas my werewolf gave to me eight laughing females, seven perfect kisses, six packs of Oreos, five satisfied smiles, four hours of hotness, three growling males, two cursing pups, and a furball in a fir tree.” ~Jen

  “This song sucks.” ~Drake

  “I feel like I’ve been stringing popcorn for a month.” Bethany sat grumbling in a chair in the main living area. The days and weeks had passed quickly, the decorations coming together despite a few hiccups in Jen’s plans and some relationship issues that needed to be worked through. Christmas music was playing, and the huge house was filled with laughter, banter, and the occasional growl from a frustrated male wolf who was either upset that his mate was on a tall, wobbly ladder or angry at strings of lights that just randomly decided to go out—right after being hung. Bethany was pretty sure it was Peri and Elle messing with them because as soon as they took them down to hang up new ones, they suddenly worked again. She kept wondering when everyone else was going to catch on.

  “Perizada!” Jen’s voice suddenly filled the air.

  Apparently, Jen caught on first, Bethany thought to herself with a smile.

  “But you’re the best popcorn stringer ever.” Drake picked up her feet, which had been propped on the ottoman in front of her chair, and sat down, placing them in his lap. He began rubbing them with his strong hands, and Bethany felt her eyes roll back in her head as her neck tilted back. Any time she started to complain, Drake was right there, using his hands to make her forget her irritation. Sometimes, he gave his attention to her feet. Other times, he focused on body parts even more ticklish.

  “Behave, female.” He growled when her thoughts filtered through the bond.

  Bethany grinned at him. “That’s not what you told me to do last night.”

  “What did he tell you to do last night?” Jen came striding into the large living room where Bethany had been told to “sit, rest, string popcorn, and be merry, dammit,” after the mother-to-be had been caught climbing a ladder to place a star on top of one of the tallest trees.

  “He told me to go—”

  “You do realize it’s only a week until Christmas, right?” Drake quickly asked Jen. Bethany noticed the blonde she-wolf glancing around the room, her eyes taking in every decoration.

  “Your evasion only makes me more curious,” Jen said absently. She walked over to the tree and moved some of the ornaments around. Apparently, there were too many red ones in a single area. When Jen stepped back and looked at the tree, Bethany saw there were clumps of the same-colored ornaments all over the tree, as if someone had purposefully organized them that way.

  Bethany’s eyes jumped to Jen as she heard the woman growl. “I swear I’m going to skin that high fae alive.” She started to storm from the room but paused as she passed Bethany. “If any fae come in this room, stab them with your popcorn stringing needle.”

  Bethany laughed. “I don’t think that will do much damage.”

  “It will if you get her in the eye.” A moment later, Jen was striding out while yelling about all the unsavory things she was planning to do to a certain high fae.

  When Bethany looked back at Drake, he was staring at her, his gaze intense. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Well, a lot more than usual, which was saying something because even before she was pregnant, her mate kept his eyes on her as much as possible.

  “Drake, I love you, but you’re going to give me a complex if you don’t quit with the hovering, staring, and growling every time I move.” Bethany huffed.

  “Give it up.” Jacque strolled in, a mug of hot chocolate in each hand. She handed one to Bethany, who happily droppe
d her popcorn string and needle. “Wolves be crazy when their mates are knocked up.”

  “She’s not wrong.” Sally walked in after their alpha female.

  “That’s kind of scary, considering they’re unstable before their mates are pregnant.” Zara brought up the rear of the trio.

  Sally and Zara both sat on the love seat across from Bethany, while Jacque sat down on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her with her back leaned against the love seat.

  “Drake,” Jacque said, sending a wink that Bethany’s mate couldn’t see with his back turned to Jacque. “Fane asked me to see if you could give him and Costin a hand with the sled. Apparently, three weeks isn’t long enough to put together the monstrosity that Jen has them working on.”

  “Can’t one of the other males help?” Drake asked, his voice respectful but holding a bit of a growl.

  “If you mean, Decebel, Lucian, Sorin, Wadim, and Adam,” Jacque listed off all the other males, except Gavril, who was on baby duty, “then yes, they can help, and are helping. Well, except Adam. Jen threatened to convince Crina to refuse his touch if he tried to use any fae mojo to help them with the sled. But the others are already out there. How many wolves does it take to put together a Christmas sleigh?” she asked cheekily. “Who knows, but maybe seven and a laughing fae is the magic number.”

  Drake’s eyes met Bethany’s. She could tell he didn’t want to go, but she seriously needed some space. She’d been trying hard not to let that slip through the bond because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she was pretty sure if he didn’t give her some breathing room, she just might smother him with a pillow. Maybe that would make him understand.

  “I’ll be fine,” she said gently. “I’m only six months along, Drake. We still have three more months until this baby is going to drop out of me.”